when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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