; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
