remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
