$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
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So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
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I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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