haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
