Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
