My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
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Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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