just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
