sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize