Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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