its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
