Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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