i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize