if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
