the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
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I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
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You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
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