i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
