you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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