You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
