i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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