Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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