Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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