Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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