my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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