All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
