He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
