i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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