I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
