How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
