But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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