He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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