I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
