4 words: hood of his car
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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