why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It's never too late to be topless.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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