Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
3pm strippers are depressing
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
