now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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