Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize