This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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