I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
