I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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