he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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