so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You can't motorboat a personality
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
