He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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