Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
