I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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