McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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