I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
