I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
