allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
