a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
