She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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