holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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