I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
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The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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