i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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