Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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