Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Randomize
