I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
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