I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
