how can u be prego again
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
