Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
