If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
