i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
