I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize