I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize