yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Randomize
