what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
